Real Church notices LOL

Talk about everything here
Post Reply
User avatar
sound world
Bedroom
Posts: 2963
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:03 pm
anti-spam: No
Contact:

Real Church notices LOL

Post by sound world »

I was just sent this:- :mrgreen:

Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
--------------------------
Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the
congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and
To the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to
cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Pot luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
-------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the
basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

RobB
Bedroom
Posts: 3922
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 3:51 pm
anti-spam: No
Location: Essex, England.

Re: Real Church notices LOL

Post by RobB »

:mrgreen:
I wonder how many of those were deliberate? :wink:

User avatar
alx5962
Bedroom
Posts: 1219
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:27 am
Location: Lille, France
Contact:

Re: Real Church notices LOL

Post by alx5962 »

It sounds like the church billboards from The Simpsons !
I believe in your smile everyday
But I know that you're far from my way
When I talk to the moon I can hear you
In the dark I can see, I can feel your light

Post Reply