the fake stina news thread

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blue
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Post by blue »

d.a.walker wrote:
Police are still appealing for witnesses, and an emotional plea was broadcast by Chief Constable Wanganeen on ABC News for the return of a pink scrunchy that apparently fell out of the wig during her arrest.
'In a sinister new development, a group calling themselves the LP7 Liberation Army have contacted Ms. Nordenstam with threats to 'harm' the pink scrunchy unless a press release containing full details of her forthcoming album, including title, tracklist and release date, is published within 48 hours. Frantic efforts are continuing behind the scenes to ensure the safe return of the scrunchy, which has an undisclosed medical condition requiring daily treatment.'
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Post by aermancer »

July 3, 2007

Stina Nordenstam declares her next album the pop masterpiece of the century

Like Britney and Christina before her, Finnish musician Stina Nordenstam, has made the decision to "whore up" her image and sell her albums based entirely on sexual appeal. Gone is her reclusive manner, Stina will embark on a 2 year tour in 12,874 cities to promote her new album "Stripper Boots" on August 27. To prepare for the tour, Stina has undergone multiple plastic surgeries, including breast implants, buttock implants, and multiple facial lifts. "I really wanted to show the world what a beautiful and sexy person i am," said Miss Nordenstam. "What a better way to do that than have my boobs and ass all cut up so i could better entertain my audience?"

All writing and rapping on the album was done by Timbaland. Timbaland also provided the incessant minimal hip hop beat for every track. "He really laid down some phat beatz [sic] for me, i was really pleased with the work he did."

Stina is rumoured to appear on at least half of the tracks on the album while Timbaland supplies his annoying rap on each track.

Picture of Nordenstam, taken 7/2/07
Image

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sound world
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Post by sound world »

:D

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Post by blue »

:O :D [akiss]
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Post by RobB »

wow, what a lovely pair of .........(cough).......... eyes. :wink:

Actually,I take that back,....on closer inspection the eyes are awful........Stina,what have you done? :lol:

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sound world
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Post by sound world »

Personally I think the boobs are awful too. :D

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Post by RobB »

sound world wrote:Personally I think the boobs are awful too. :D
boobs? I can't say I noticed them! :wink:

I certainly wouldn't want to approach the young(sic) lady from behind and tap her on the shoulder.

Not without ducking in a hurry anyway. :lol:

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Post by blue »

I always wonder when I see these cosmetic-surgery freaks whether they really believe they're actually sexy/beautiful, or whether they wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with the awful realisation of what they've done to themselves. Poor things.
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...

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gerryuk
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Post by gerryuk »

sources close to the artist (someone who once glanced into the shopfront of a Ikea store in Swindon ) have confirmed that Stina has shortlisted just 4 titles for her soon to be released opus the 4 are:

Mandarin Stetson
Tamarinds Sonnet
Dramas Tonne Tins

and the current frontrunner

Stern Damnations



Can anyone see what she has done here?
you were walking through the house last night,
i knew it was you from the space in your steps

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sound world
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Post by sound world »

Yeah,we had a whole thread of these once-can't find it now?
I like 'tamarind sonnets' :D

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Post by aermancer »

ANTI-SAND MONSTER

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zoot
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Re: the fake stina news thread

Post by zoot »

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Re: the fake stina news thread

Post by RobB »

^
Nice one zoot. :lol:
I bet the guy feels like a right tit? :wink: :mrgreen:

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d.a.walker
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Re: the fake stina news thread

Post by d.a.walker »

New album to be released 31-11-2007

Stina Nordenstam - Love, Stina (Kandy Kow Records)

01. Big Giant Kisses
02. Kittens Are Cute
03. Lets Run Through The Meadow With Flowers In Our Mouths
04. Lavish Me With Your Love
05. It's Midnight (And I'm Horny)
06. The Song In My Heart Sings Like A Bee
07. I'm So Happy I Could Burst
08. Knee Length Love Boots
09. Conrad, Darling, I'm Up The Duff
10. Do The Stina (Shake Those Booties) - Featuring K-Fed and Ani Difranco
11. Thrush

There will be a 3 month tour of the local pubs in Bermuda, which will be followed by a DVD of the concert, Stina: Alive With Love. The first 40 copies of the album will also come with a bonus Karaoke disc.

Stina has said that this album is dedicated to her life partner, Bea Aurthur.

For more information:

http://www.stinasloveshed.se
I dreamed of 747's, over geometric farms...

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sound world
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Re: the fake stina news thread

Post by sound world »

[rolling]
Great! I love 'Conrad,darling,I'm up the duff' :)

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