Desire Avenue

Hi everyone!
Well, don't get overexcited, it's not showing in a theater near you, it's not been shot in Hollywood, and it's not starring Stina Nordenstam.
Oh, and it's not a fiction...It's a documentary.
Nevertheless, that's the first film I actually finished (or nearly so), I did it with a friend when we were in China.
It's about a Chinese Shadow Theater in a small town in China.
I will need the help of all native english speakers to tell me if the englisg subtitles i finished today have many mistakes, and which are they?
I need you to correct my english, my friends!
And again, is the movie understandable or does it all look like a big mess?
Then, i need EVERYBODY's help to give me some constructive comments on what's bad and what can make it better.
This took me a lot of my time but it know the edit is not final yet, i need to make some changes. Before that, i want your personal opinion.
And, do you think it could play on TV or should it just be shown to family and friends?
Ok, so the English Version is HERE:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... 2073271370
The French Version is here:
http://www.myspace.com/lesombresdeyunmeng

Thanks to all of you!
Your loving unemployed creature,
Elfy

Hey Elfy,

pas eu le temps de regarder + d'une fois le film, mais rien ne m'a choqué... maintenant il me faudrait un peu plus de temps que celui dont je dispose pour le moment pour élaborer une critique constructive...
Je fais de mon mieux pour te donner une réponse argumentée.

En tout cas, déjà, bravo pour le boulot !

Nice film Elfy,very beautifully filmed.

The English subtitles are basically fine with only a few errors (I think.......the subtitles passed by quite quickly in places!)

One subtitle read: 'For me it's all started with.....'
I think that would read better as 'For me it all started with......'

Elsewhere there were a couple of mis-spellings:
Troups = Troops
Disapearing = Disappearing

and right near the very end the word 'pracice' should have been 'practice'.

You might also consider using the capital I instead of i whenever the letter/word appears mid-sentance.

Hope that helps abit and well done to Cedric and yourself for a very professional looking film.

Yes, I think it could hold up to a tv showing. The image and sound seemed consistantly clear enough.

Thanks a lot for the corrections Rob!
I will correct these!
Are you sure about troop? I didn't mean Military Troop, but Theater one. I thought it was troup...Anyway!
Thanks again!

Elforel wrote:Are you sure about troop? I didn't mean Military Troop, but Theater one. I thought it was troup..

I only read the subtitle the once and thought it was the refering to the 'military' .....
All the same, I believe the theatre spelling can still be spelt as Troop but it can also be spelt Troupe, which I think is also the French way of spelling it. So I'd go with the latter version.

Hello Aurélien,
nous avons reçu ton nouveau DVD, il marche très bien et nous l'avons regardé avec Tristan. Merci pour la carte de Noël Tesco!!

To all of the others members: go watch Elforel's film!

I never visit this section of the board (for some reason).

Will have a look when I get back to uni in a couple of weeks, my connection is slow.

Hello!
I have some pretty cool news!
My film has been selected to be screened at the international festival of
“Full Frame Documentary Film Festival“ in Durham, North Carolina, U.S.A. !!
Ok, the film has also been refused by 3 other festivals so far but hey, that's still really cool!
Here's the website of the festival: http://www.fullframefest.org/press/
If any of you is in the area, my film should be showing on the 3rd of April at 4:45 pm. Please come and have a look!
I may even be there if I decide to break my little money pig...

B R A V O ! ! [king]

Merci

Great news Elfy! you deserve it,it's a great piece of work ! let's hope your money pig will become fatter as a result!

Thanks!
That's indeed all i can hope for...
It's pretty selfish to use the last money we have to go there but it would be livin' the dream... You never know if that may happen again.

congrats!

wish i could see it (damn internet connection)! [censor]

I think you should go there, it is an experience of a lifetime either way.

According to Wikipedia, Full Frame "receives over 1,000 new films for consideration, the most of any documentary awards festival in the United States."

So congrats with the achievement.

Book tickets soon (and a place to stay), and it might not be THAT expensive after all.

Thanks!
Actually, they said that they selected 65 films out of the 1200 they received!
So yes, I'm pretty happy about it!
And I am now more and more planning to go there!