Desire Avenue

After rereading the part of that interveiw where Stina talks about psychosis and kinda meditating on it all, it started me thinking.

What do you do when things get alittle overwhelming or you just don't want to deal with it?

Do you shut down, acting as if you haven't got a care in the world?
Do you get angry? Listen to music?
Talk to yourself to calm down then deal with it?

et cetera, et cetera...

there was once i had to meditate everytime that happens...

but now..
i think i just find myself a little corner and try to feel why i'm so distressed. one emotion at a time. if i can't sort it out by myself, i talk to someone i'm close to. if it's too private an event, i have to talk it out myself. i write in one of my many, many blogs.

if i'm at home i listen to Dynamite [crazy]
or go for a walk in the woods with People are strange in my earphones.
or i eat one bar of chocolate and and drink lots of water afterwards.

If things start to get overwhelming then I'm running (and doing other kinds of sports) or writing.

I guess I'm the type that shuts down, refuses to care. If I'm afraid of losing it emotionally, I'll show nothing, feel nothing...which can be a blessing and a curse. Blessing: I don't hurt others with words or physical violence and maintain control. Curse: I sometimes have a huge problem with actually showing emotion when the time is due, and if i try i feel like I'm faking it. So I can't win.

But then other times I'll snap right into work, make a list of what i have to do to change my situation and do it.

Of course music is an escape, It's helped me deal with things many times. But i don't always want to escape. I like to fight sometimes. But the more you lose the battles, the harder it is to get up the zeal to win.

Ha! Well, my non-girlfriend's got a real boyfriend again, so it's out with And She Closed Her Eyes. I would go for a long walk, but my leg isn't up to it at the moment.

x31eq wrote:Ha! Well, my non-girlfriend's got a real boyfriend again, so it's out with And She Closed Her Eyes. I would go for a long walk, but my leg isn't up to it at the moment.

non-girlfeiend? Do you mean the painful girl/boy-friend situation where the boy likes the girl, but the girl is quite indifferent romanitcally? if so, ouch, i feel your pain.

or did you mean ex-girlfriend?

the answer is all in the Post a Secret thread...

Deny Everything! (to use an x-files quote )
I like to not think about problems and it helps keep a positive view on things, how odd that may seem, but i just take life as it is i guess and not worry too much; it can get overwhelmed and music like Stina helps a lot, but her music works in every situation for me.
I used to write too but haven't done so lately, but it's also a great way to deal with things; also gardening works very relaxing; and mostly i like to go out in to the country and explore; exploring is my way of living, i like to discover new places (albeit specific places.. ), but like to spend time at home just as much just on my own doing my stuff.. listening to music, watching a movie, computer, reading..

Depends on the context. If it's something that makes me angry or hurts me on a personal level, I tend to get in there and try to sort it out, regardless of how much talking it takes or how painful it is. I just don't understand the 'shut off and don't interact' response to problems, I'd always much rather try to get things sorted out so that a new understanding is reached. Of course, that depends on others wanting the same thing, which is sometimes not the case. On those occasions, I'll simply withdraw and give it up as a bad job, go listen to some favourite music, and move on.

If it's less personal, more general, and there isn't much to be done about it, I find getting myself lost in a favourite book is always effective.

elizabeth wrote: I just don't understand the 'shut off and don't interact' response to problems...

[and]

On those occasions, I'll simply withdraw and give it up as a bad job, go listen to some favourite music, and move on.

the same thing perhaps?

elizabeth wrote: I just don't understand the 'shut off and don't interact' response to problems

[and

On those occasions, I'll simply withdraw and give it up as a bad job, go listen to some favourite music, and move on.

...perhaps the same?

I don't think so really, Ruth - there's a huge difference between refusing to deal at all as a first and only response to a situation, and accepting after a concerted attempt to resolve it that you are wasting your energy because others don't have the same aim. As I said in the first part of my post:

If it's something that makes me angry or hurts me on a personal level, I tend to get in there and try to sort it out, regardless of how much talking it takes or how painful it is. I just don't understand the 'shut off and don't interact' response to problems, I'd always much rather try to get things sorted out so that a new understanding is reached.

My own instinct is to fight tooth and nail to sort problems out; if someone or something matters very much to me, I don't care how painful the process is, if there's even the smallest chance that we end up reaching a new understanding, a new truthfulness and meaningfulness. To me, that's what life is all about, and to succeed in that way is a real triumph of spirit. Inevitably though, not everyone feels that way. There will come times when you realise that your efforts are not making any difference, that the other person has decided the 'shut off and don't interact' response is the one for them, and in such cases I have to accept that and back off. I won't continue forever to hit my head off someone's brick wall, no matter how much I care about them.

I really don't understand the refusal to deal at all; but then, I don't find the prospect of emotional pain terrifying. I've been through a great deal of it and I've survived and gained strength in the long run, I think. To me, the truly terrifying thing is to be dead inside, incapable of responding to pain, unwilling to deal. I'd always rather bleed than blanch.