the fake stina news thread

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blue
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the fake stina news thread

Post by blue »

She won't give us any of the real stuff, so we're gonna make up our own, godammit. 8)

18th June '07:

'Stina has just completed the soundtrack for the upcoming movie 'Dallas - The Reunion'. For this project, Stina has utilised an audio palette comprising Texas cowbells, gunshots and oil wells gushing. Initial reports that Stina appears in the movie as the love interest of 85 year old J.R Ewing are unconfirmed at present.'


19th June '07:

'Swedish songstrel Stina Nordenstam has today signed a deal with Virgin Lunar to give the first pop concert on the moon. Ms. Nordenstam is quoted as saying it's the only venue she would consider playing as the atmosphere is just right and none of her fans would be able to attend.'

Anyone heard anything else? Keep scouring those news sources, people. :lol:
Last edited by blue on Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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alx5962
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Post by alx5962 »

A good one:
Stina Nordenstam will perform live in [put your city here].
in fact only the 5 first words would be nice.
I believe in your smile everyday
But I know that you're far from my way
When I talk to the moon I can hear you
In the dark I can see, I can feel your light

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wirbel
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Post by wirbel »

From what i've heard Stina Nordenstam will be singing for Sweden at the Eurovision Songfestival next year! This way Sweden will finally have a chance to become a winner again, cause it will surely stand out between all the east European contributions.

can you imagine what she will wear? :D
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Post by blue »

Alrighty then, that's the kind of news we need in this thread! Just to make it official:

'Stina Nordenstam has battled her way through the heats of Sweden's 'A Song For Europe' and emerged victorious with the self-penned 'I'm Really Norwegian', which she will perform at next year's Eurovision Song Contest. Stina will be wearing a costume specially made by Volvo.'
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Post by sound world »

from Dagens Saga 19-6-07:-
‘A spokesperson for WiggedBint records today described the extraordinarily rarified atmosphere surrounding the long-awaited new Stina Nordenstam recording,’Unobtainable’.
‘The recording is already a collector’s item with advance sales in excess of five copies’,said NilsElling,the harassed-looking PR man for the Nordic Queen of navelgazing’s independent label,’but in fact,the recording has been deleted already,before it has gone on sale,which we think is a first in recording history.It has already taken on the aura of a cult classic’.
The reclusive Nordenstam hasn’t released anything under her own name since 2004’s ‘The World Is Saved’, a dark,angst-ridden affair full of songs about condors and buses.Indeed,nothing at all has been heard of her for over a year,giving rise to all kinds of rumours-she’d joined a mendicant order,she’d been caught shoplifting in Harrod’s shoe section,she’d given up music for scuba-diving.There have been trickles of information-she made a sound exhibit for a Polar research station involving the sounds of frozen fish being hit with shovels over a backdrop of 6-inch nails being stirred in a bucket,with a narration intoned by the artist’s mother.Last year she was alleged to have provided the incidental music for a recently discovered fragment ‘Laundry list 3-23-67’ by the great Swedish director and playwright Ingmar Bergman,but the expectant audience came away disappointed-no music was apparently audible although it is said that this was exactly what Nordenstam intended,so arguments continue to rage about such a stroke of audacious brilliance.
The Swedish elf,whose style is closely akin to that of Bjork,Anja Garbarek,Emiliana Torrini and several other Northern women whose names are unpronounceable,gave a rare interview to Dagens Saga yesterday.We will feature this in our next issue.’

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Post by blue »

[rolling]

[rolling]

[akiss] [akiss] [akiss]
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Post by aermancer »

blue wrote:Stina will be wearing a costume specially made by Volvo.
At least it wasn't Ikea, the costume would snap in half. like a wardrobe malfunction just waiting to happen.

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Re: the fake stina news thread

Post by * »

blue wrote: Stina Nordenstam
WHO?!

[rolling] [rolling] [rolling]

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Post by blue »

21st June '07:

'Stina Nordenstam was today arrested by police in Germany investigating the attempted strangulation of Irish musician Duncan Something-Or-Other. The incident appears to have been sparked when Mr. Something-Or-Other inadvertently addressed Ms. Nordenstam as 'Tina Noodlestrom'. Enquiries are continuing.'


:O :shock:
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Post by d.a.walker »

10:32pm, June 22nd 2007, Adelaide:

Stina Nordenstam has been taken into police custody after running down North Terrace wearing only a wig and a pair of knee length boots. Two innocent bystanders were injured during the shocking terror induced panic that spread throughout the street due to the fact that the wig was not properly co-ordinated with the boots.

Four not so innocent bystanders suffered whiplash injuries after their range rover was brought to a hault by local authorities. It has not been confirmed whether they were supplying Ms Nordenstam with refreshments or moisture replenishing sponges.

Police are still appealing for witnesses, and an emotional plea was broadcasted by Chief Constable Wanganeen on ABC News for the return of a pink scrunchy that apparently fell out of the wig during her arrest.

Ms Nordenstam declined to comment on her arrest during her escorting to Pirie Street Police station, but she appeared to be singing I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester and shaking a pair of maracas whilst handcuffed to an officer.

Her label V2 have also declined to comment on the incident, but have confirmed that Stina will be releasing an album this year and that she will be appearing in the sequel to Glitter, taking over the role famously played by Mariah Carey.

They've also confirmed that her new album, I'm A Funky Disco Bunny, has been produced by Foster and Allen, with the first single being Let Light In Your Heart And Flowers Up Your Valley, and will feature remixes by Aled Jones, Manhatten Transfer and Courtney Love.

V2 also refused to comment on the alleged duet with Shakira, Shake Your Booty (With Lovely Shoes) being shelved from the tracklisting.
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Post by sound world »

:D
I think we should change the title of this thread to 'The Stina news thread' :D
Might provoke some response from the lady herself.

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Post by wirbel »

we shouldn't be so mean to her
:shock:
I hope Stina has a sense of humor as well :D
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Post by pgss »

wirbel wrote:I hope Stina has a sense of humor as well :D
Believe me: she has/ [akiss]

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Post by kuhn »

pgss wrote:
wirbel wrote:I hope Stina has a sense of humor as well :D
Believe me: she has/ [akiss]
Coming Soon? :lol:

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Post by blue »

Daniel. 8) :D :D :D :D
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...

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