Test paper howlers

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sound world
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Test paper howlers

Post by sound world »

These are purported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area. :D

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

SOCIOLOGY

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

BIOLOGY

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

ENGLISH

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

RELIGION

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lay eggs.
:D

blue
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Post by blue »

:D :D :D

Some of those have got to be made up. :shock: :lol:
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...

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sound world
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Post by sound world »

Yeah,but anyway :D

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wirbel
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Post by wirbel »

blue wrote::D :D :D

Some of those have got to be made up. :shock: :lol:
It's from ALABAMA, so what can you expect; i'm guessing most are true :twisted: :D

I was also laughing about seeing some 'southern' police action on youtube last time; Reno911 for real :D the cop got stuck on a railway track trying to catch a guy on a bike, and then two trains were coming, but they didn't hit the car (which could easily be shoved off the tracks with all the people present)... haha
-I am a true Believer-

blue
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Post by blue »

Now now, Wirbel, some of America's greatest political intellects have come from the South too. (Not including the Bushes, obviously. :D)
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...

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