The Tori Thread

[RobB]

Picked up a copy of the 'Winter / Smells Like Teen Spirit / etc / cd single the other day from my local Cash Converters shop for the grand sum of 25p.
I think i've rediscovered that i'm still quite a fan of early Tori.

[blue]

Oh yes, THAT Tori will always rock my world.

Her cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit is quite unearthly. She's done so many wonderful covers but that one ranks up at the top, for me.

[blue]

Just to mention that Tori is releasing a seasonal album on November 10th, called 'Midwinter Graces'. She was asked to do a Christmas album by the boss of her new label Universal, I think it may have been part of the distribution deal they drew up for her, but she seems to be treating it quite seriously. It's not, to use her phrase, 'a party for Jesus'.

The songs will be focused more around the idea of the mid-winter solstice, ie the idea of non-Christian celebrations as well as the more traditional carols and things, all with a Tori twist. She's mentioned strings, brass, harpsichord and timpani being involved in the sound palette and that her 'classical musician' side is getting to do her job, which will be heaven to hardcore Toriphiles if it's true.

The problem is her perception of what she's doing these days is so wildly deluded, it'd be silly to take her word for anything. I'm hoping it'll be a pleasant surprise, but prepared for it to be more of the Botoxed pap. We'll see.

[sound world]

Who else did I hear was doing a Crimbo album? oh yes,Dylan! Maybe Tori and Zim could get together and do 'Little Drummer Boy'.

[blue]

Tori already did it years ago. Lovely version, too. Apparently when she was growing up she had to perform it most Christmases in her father's church.

[blue]

I'd love it if the solstice album had this sort of vibe:

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas





This is one of my favourite of all Tori's covers. I love how she manages to make this Christmas song sound like a suicide note.

[RobB]

First Jane, then Enya ,now Tori.....erm Kate next anyone?

[blue]

There do seem to be rather a lot of Christmas albums coming this year, from people you wouldn't expect to do one. Is business that bad in the music industry, I wonder?

[RobB]

Is business that bad in the music industry, I wonder?

It would seem so.

I quite like the idea of a winter themed album but only if its orginal material. Its when these artists start covering traditional songs that it can get a bit tacky.

[blue]

Yeah, I agree. I'm filled with trepidation about 'Midwinter Graces'. It sounds so old-skool Tori on paper, I'd love it if she's sincere about letting her classical side loose on the project, and I like the idea of it being about pagan as well as Christian traditions. But we've been burned every time since 'The Beekeeper', so it'll probably suck Christmas balls.

[sound world]

suck Christmas balls.

Wot,the ones on the Christmas Tree? *Ouch*

Yes the Music Industry in crisis,....so ...it's time to dust off those infallible emptiers of wallets,repackage them a bit,chuck in a new-fangling game,Ladies and Gentlemen,I give you-
The BEATLES!

[blue]

Yeah, I agree. I'm filled with trepidation about 'Midwinter Graces'.... we've been burned every time since 'The Beekeeper', so it'll probably suck Christmas balls.

I've just seen the cover. I don't know how to capture the image from @ and put it here, but OH. MY. GOD. W.T.F.

Picture a heavily Botoxed - to the point of looking like a Sims character - Tori ascending into the heavens wearing a couture dress and fabulous shoes. Really. It's the Ascension of Saint Tori, The Magadelene of the Couture.

Every time I think she's finally reached the nadir of naffness in her imagery, every time I think she can't possibly do anything even more ludicrously awful, she tops it. Every. Goddamn. Time.

My hopes for the music have plummeted into the abyss. It would have to be so astonishingly, rivetingly brilliant to overcome an album cover this bad.

[RobB]

I've just seen the cover. I don't know how to capture the image from @ and put it here, but OH. MY. GOD. W.T.F.

Beth,is this it?



I see that there is some discussion as to whether its a fake or not?

[blue]

That's it. [b)] [b)]

I repeat: W.T.F.?!! Oh god Tori, why, why would you pose like that and then let some idiot badly photoshop you onto a background of clouds? YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD BOTOX INJECTED NEAR YOUR BRAIN. [censor]

Please god let it be a fake. But we've said that with every cover since The Beekeeper, and it always turns out to be the real thing.

*sigh*

[blue]

And since when have your boobs been that big, missy? You have tiny boobs that seem to have grown suspiciously overnight. SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW LADY.