The Tori Thread

[RobB]

You have tiny boobs that seem to have grown suspiciously overnight. SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW LADY.

I am [angel]

[sound world]

She looks like one of those 'real dolls' (look 'em up )

Or is it actually all a big send-up of the whole star thing? Oh,I forgot,Americans don't do irony.

[RobB]

Talking of 'out of proportion' body parts, were Michael Jackson's legs ever really this long?

[blue]

You have tiny boobs that seem to have grown suspiciously overnight. SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW LADY.

I am [angel]

You do realise they're photoshopped, Rob? You can't actually play with them.

[blue]

She looks like one of those 'real dolls' (look 'em up )

Or is it actually all a big send-up of the whole star thing? Oh,I forgot,Americans don't do irony.

You know ... I wish I could say it was her sense of humour. Because she does have a rather ironic, dry sense of humour in what she does at times. There have been moments when I've wondered if she's actually sending up the whole 'Tori Amos' persona/iconography quite deliberately - there does seem to have been a definite separation of 'Tori' from Ellen Amos in recent years, as if she's looking at 'Tori' as her day job. Little things in the way she's presented herself visually on the last three (four, now) albums, like the 'shame' picture that promoted the release of ADP, have very much given me that feeling.

It's hard to tell, though. She does seem completely deluded in her interviews in recent years.

[RobB]

You do realise they're photoshopped, Rob? You can't actually play with them.

Oh well,in that case there's no point me buying the album. [b)]

[blue]

I certainly won't be - can you imagine walking up to a counter with that? I mean really. I'd even feel embarrassed ordering it off Amazon.

Ah well. If there are any half decent tracks I'll buy them individually as mp3s, I guess, same as I did with AATS.

[blue]

The press release hit the 'net today. So much for her talk of the 'classical' side of her musicianship getting an airing ... Matt, Jon and of course the awful 'Mac Alladin' with his horrible lame 80s guitar are onboard as usual, along with a 'big band' and an orchestra arranged by Phillip Shenale, who's done the strings on the last few albums. No mention of the harpsichord she said she was using on it. No change there then.

You need to stop lying, Tori. Or get a f---ing clue about how utterly deluded and ridiculous you are at this point. What a sad descent for a once strong, wise lady. And all because you couldn't take hitting 40.

Vanity. Who knew that would turn out to be your fatal flaw? [b)]

[sound world]

Ah well,maybe when she hits 50 she'll stop caring.

[blue]

Ah well,maybe when she hits 50 she'll stop caring.

The trouble is by then most of her fans will have stopped caring, too.

Oh RealTori. How I love and miss thee. You were such a swell girl. [b)]

[blue]

Christ on a bike. I didn't think it could get worse, but here's the full cover:







AHAHAHHA. *dies*


Because the Ascension of The Couture Magdalene wasn't enough! She had to add a gay angel in Capri pants.

[kuhn]

That thing can`t seriously be real?!!

[sound world]

It's Pygar the blind Barbarella Angel!!



Steady with that hand,Jane.

[sound world]

And by the way,has Tori become an Orthodox Jew too,or is that beard photoshopped as well?

[blue]

The neck brace thing is so badly done it's hard to see exactly what it is even when you zoom in, but we think it's meant to be some sort of Egyptian reference ... those things the Pharoahs wore around their necks as decoration? She mentioned in a recent interview that she's been reading books about the Pharoahs. Why it's relevant here I have no clue, unless it's supposed to represent the 'pagan' element of the concept?

Kuhn, I'm afraid it is real. Tori's PR company used it in the press release that went out earlier today. [b)]

Dave, a few fans on @ posted the Barbarella angel today as well.

I've just been over on @ again and it seems the cover is getting dissed on Twitter by the likes of Perez Hilton. A fan even twittered Tori's own account calling it 'ridiculous'. It'll be interesting to see the reaction unfolding on Twitter over the next couple of days, it's a very immediate and public guage of what people are thinking. Not that Tori or her people will take a blind bit of notice of course.

As with the last few covers, there have been fan versions appearing online which people will be using to replace the real one on their copy. I particularly love this one, which the poster said took him all of 2 minutes to do, and which kicks Tori's into touch as far as I'm concerned:




Simple, elegant, beautiful. The poster has taken a live shot and just put it on the background with no re-touching at all. See how that works,Tori?