sound world wrote: Sometimes nowadays it's more like Norman Bates,anyway [:o]
[b)] [kisses] At least she keeps you interested, mate.
I believe in Love
So how about an update? Is everyone still with the people that they posted about?
____Dave *sigh* Dave and I actually met because of the boyfriend, Will, I had at the time. Will worked on cars and he was keeping some of his cars over at my landlord Paul's, who was also Will's "friend". I was renting a room at the house.
_____Will left for a week to go to Florida for work, leaving me up here in NY. During that time, I started hanging out with Paul, Dave who was also renting a room to help Paul out, and Frankie(who's a redneck), the next door neighbor. All we did was drink beer, smoke, work on cars and talk, but I had a blast. It was as if I was alive again for the first time in a while. They were the kind of people that I loved, the kind that there's no bullshit with. Real people. They said what they thought and there was nothing to hide. It was awesome. It had been a while since i'd been around those type.
_____I started to realize that I wasn't happy at all with Will, and he was weirding out, getting all insecure about me being there without him. When I started dating him, I was in bad sorts, otherwise he wouldn't have had a chance.
_____The whole time, Dave never laid a hand on me. Not one touch. I knew he liked me, Paul's teenager daughter made me aware of that, but I was still giving the thing with Will a chance. We talked and became excellent friend's, he'd call me to find out if I was gonna be hanging out after work or else he's work overtime.
____ I think the first time he touched me was when we were driving to Walmart and his knee hit my hand while I was shifting. He said, "Sorry" and moved it. That's when I knew he was definitely the kind of man I wanted to be with. He even respected that I was still unavailable and wouldn't think of interferring. How cool is that?
____That night I broke up with Will, which was perfect, because Frankie, Dave and I were going up to a camp in the mountains the next day to celebrate 4th of July weekend. Again, Dave and I went off alone and walked and talked. It was a great day.
_____The next day I was with Dave, though it was kinda on the down-low at first because of complications that come when your the only woman amongst a bunch of men. But it turned out fine. Perfectly fine.
The rest is a fairytale right up to the present. We fell in love and it never fades, only grows. I can't believe it even now. He treats me like a queen, though i do resist sometimes. He wants to do everything for me, even cook, then when i try to do something for him, he says he feels bad. But yeah. I'm freakin' lucky.
Sorry for the story...i couldn't resist.
- [love] Tiffany in love
____Dave *sigh* Dave and I actually met because of the boyfriend, Will, I had at the time. Will worked on cars and he was keeping some of his cars over at my landlord Paul's, who was also Will's "friend". I was renting a room at the house.
_____Will left for a week to go to Florida for work, leaving me up here in NY. During that time, I started hanging out with Paul, Dave who was also renting a room to help Paul out, and Frankie(who's a redneck), the next door neighbor. All we did was drink beer, smoke, work on cars and talk, but I had a blast. It was as if I was alive again for the first time in a while. They were the kind of people that I loved, the kind that there's no bullshit with. Real people. They said what they thought and there was nothing to hide. It was awesome. It had been a while since i'd been around those type.
_____I started to realize that I wasn't happy at all with Will, and he was weirding out, getting all insecure about me being there without him. When I started dating him, I was in bad sorts, otherwise he wouldn't have had a chance.
_____The whole time, Dave never laid a hand on me. Not one touch. I knew he liked me, Paul's teenager daughter made me aware of that, but I was still giving the thing with Will a chance. We talked and became excellent friend's, he'd call me to find out if I was gonna be hanging out after work or else he's work overtime.
____ I think the first time he touched me was when we were driving to Walmart and his knee hit my hand while I was shifting. He said, "Sorry" and moved it. That's when I knew he was definitely the kind of man I wanted to be with. He even respected that I was still unavailable and wouldn't think of interferring. How cool is that?
____That night I broke up with Will, which was perfect, because Frankie, Dave and I were going up to a camp in the mountains the next day to celebrate 4th of July weekend. Again, Dave and I went off alone and walked and talked. It was a great day.
_____The next day I was with Dave, though it was kinda on the down-low at first because of complications that come when your the only woman amongst a bunch of men. But it turned out fine. Perfectly fine.
The rest is a fairytale right up to the present. We fell in love and it never fades, only grows. I can't believe it even now. He treats me like a queen, though i do resist sometimes. He wants to do everything for me, even cook, then when i try to do something for him, he says he feels bad. But yeah. I'm freakin' lucky.
Sorry for the story...i couldn't resist.
- [love] Tiffany in love
[angel] [love]Funny to read through this thread again. Love burns very bright at first, it's easy to forget that.
Still together, though marriage as a state has proved a much tougher psychological adjustment for me than I anticipated. I wonder if I'm essentially just too self-contained. Something in me seems to very strongly resist the idea of becoming 'other'. I think love is love, and marriage is marriage. The two are not necessarily comfortable bedfellows.
I'm a little ray of sunshine, aren't I.
Tiffany, you're in a delightful moment. Enjoy it, and may it long continue.
Still together, though marriage as a state has proved a much tougher psychological adjustment for me than I anticipated. I wonder if I'm essentially just too self-contained. Something in me seems to very strongly resist the idea of becoming 'other'. I think love is love, and marriage is marriage. The two are not necessarily comfortable bedfellows.
I'm a little ray of sunshine, aren't I.
Tiffany, you're in a delightful moment. Enjoy it, and may it long continue.
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
i didn't vote because i couldn't reall fit my experience into the list given...
anyway caroline and i knew each other from 'around' for over a year but had hardly exchanged a couple of words (and we were at different stages in other relationships)... then early this year i was checking the stats for my website and found that i was getting a fair amount of traffic being referred from a website that i didn't know... so i went over and it was hers!
so, i wrote a mail saying thanks and so... and got a reply, to which i wrote a reply and the reply was quick in coming and long and that eventually to meeting up and ...
anyway, it's a very strange and beautiful time for me atm... learning a lot.
anyway caroline and i knew each other from 'around' for over a year but had hardly exchanged a couple of words (and we were at different stages in other relationships)... then early this year i was checking the stats for my website and found that i was getting a fair amount of traffic being referred from a website that i didn't know... so i went over and it was hers!
so, i wrote a mail saying thanks and so... and got a reply, to which i wrote a reply and the reply was quick in coming and long and that eventually to meeting up and ...
anyway, it's a very strange and beautiful time for me atm... learning a lot.
all with a hint of cynicism....hm...blue wrote:Funny to read through this thread again. Love burns very bright at first, it's easy to forget that.
Still together, though marriage as a state has proved a much tougher psychological adjustment for me than I anticipated. I wonder if I'm essentially just too self-contained. Something in me seems to very strongly resist the idea of becoming 'other'. I think love is love, and marriage is marriage. The two are not necessarily comfortable bedfellows.
I'm a little ray of sunshine, aren't I.
Tiffany, you're in a delightful moment. Enjoy it, and may it long continue.
Thanks! Hey, what exactly do you mean you think you are "too self-contained?" Too introverted, keeping to yourself? Too independant?
The last, I think, and I'm sure my husband would agree. 
It's very seductive, the idea that love will sweep all before it and leave the land it's travelled over somehow scorched clean, ready for new growth. The older I get though, the more I feel that certain ancient things will stand fast against any fire. In my case, one of those things is a depth of emotional independence that seems to go right to the core of me. It's tough for other people to live with.
Still, we're living.
It's very seductive, the idea that love will sweep all before it and leave the land it's travelled over somehow scorched clean, ready for new growth. The older I get though, the more I feel that certain ancient things will stand fast against any fire. In my case, one of those things is a depth of emotional independence that seems to go right to the core of me. It's tough for other people to live with.
Still, we're living.
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
I had to master an independence streak too, but years ago. Now, I'm more of a submissive housewife (minus the cooking everyday for him, I refuse to until we get married) most of the time and a bitch when I need to be. I'm used to doing things alone, so he knows I can take care of myself, though he sometimes gets insulted if I try to. Maybe it's the same with you?
_____Yeah, whatever you have with your mate has to be solid enough to withstand soooo much bullshit. The top priority on my list is that you have to be friends first.
_____I learned that from watching my parents. They've been married for 31 years now. My dad can be a major ass and I never understrood why my mother was still with him. I asked her once and she told me - above all they were best friends. It's hard to imagine my parents as friends and not just my mom and dad.
_____I've been through girl/boyfriends but, the friends I have last and last. That's what's so great about Dave and I. He's my best friend and I'm his.
_____It seems whenever people meet on a "date" there's an automatic pressure on the both of them. I've always hated that. I'm too much of a laid back person to go thru that. Just be yourself and you have nothing to hide and no false expectations for the other. Common sense, ja?
_____Yeah, whatever you have with your mate has to be solid enough to withstand soooo much bullshit. The top priority on my list is that you have to be friends first.
_____I learned that from watching my parents. They've been married for 31 years now. My dad can be a major ass and I never understrood why my mother was still with him. I asked her once and she told me - above all they were best friends. It's hard to imagine my parents as friends and not just my mom and dad.
_____I've been through girl/boyfriends but, the friends I have last and last. That's what's so great about Dave and I. He's my best friend and I'm his.
_____It seems whenever people meet on a "date" there's an automatic pressure on the both of them. I've always hated that. I'm too much of a laid back person to go thru that. Just be yourself and you have nothing to hide and no false expectations for the other. Common sense, ja?
Not quite.ruth1998 wrote:I had to master an independence streak too, but years ago. Now, I'm more of a submissive housewife (minus the cooking everyday for him, I refuse to until we get married) most of the time and a bitch when I need to be. I'm used to doing things alone, so he knows I can take care of myself, though he sometimes gets insulted if I try to. Maybe it's the same with you?
I'm a different generation to you, so I don't see things in quite those terms, for a start. I don't see why any woman should have to 'master' her independence, and I certainly reject the patriarchal characterisation of women as either 'submissive housewife' or 'bitch', with no room between the two for an actual human being.
The thing I'm talking about is genderless, it's not about woman versus man. It's older than that, deeper. It's about what's in your soul as an individual. I think everyone has certain prime impulses, who knows where they come from - what's a soul made of? - that act like governing regulators of interaction with the world and other souls. The farther I go through life, the more convinced I am that this is true.
But it's also rather heavy conversation for this time in the morning, so I'm off to feed my errant soul some breakfast.
Ice, you were the one most tender with the rivers.
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
You, the roof of the waves, layer after layer after layer ...
well, you'll all probably hold me for being crazy, but i see falling in love and love can be compared, of all things, to..... the space shuttle!blue wrote:Funny to read through this thread again. Love burns very bright at first, it's easy to forget that.
let me try and explain - if you see 'real' love as the shuttle itself, you know it can't get into orbit without the big f*ck-off rocket it sits on - that's the 'brightly burning' falling in love bit. you need that to get the payload where it should be, and it's inevitable to a certain degree that it falls away... if it kept accelerating at the same speed forever, you's hit the sun or something!ok... i'll go back and sit facing the corner again...
[b)] the psychologist and writer M.Scott Peck proposed that a successful marriage is never the meeting of two halves becoming a whole, rather two complete individuals coming together to create a mysterious (in a positive sense) but tangible third 'enitity'; effectively a 'holy trinity'. i really believe in that and think that is the ideal worth aiming for - and elizabeth, you sort of back that up in what you say - i think resisting subsumation is totally correct and healthy. it's somehow about creation and not merging. y'know what i'm trying to get at? anyhow, is the barrier more with the word 'marriage' than anything else? (i suppose that depends on what changes in lifestyle came when in relation to the day itself.)blue wrote:Still together, though marriage as a state has proved a much tougher psychological adjustment for me than I anticipated. I wonder if I'm essentially just too self-contained. Something in me seems to very strongly resist the idea of becoming 'other'. I think love is love, and marriage is marriage. The two are not necessarily comfortable bedfellows.
Last edited by * on Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, I don't mean a whole Donna Reed thing, just that my 'prime impulse' was being too independant - to a fault. That and pride. Which is why it's so amazing to me that I have this man that I love enough to better my personality and try to improve in things like communication.blue wrote:Not quite.
I'm a different generation to you, so I don't see things in quite those terms, for a start. I don't see why any woman should have to 'master' her independence, and I certainly reject the patriarchal characterisation of women as either 'submissive housewife' or 'bitch', with no room between the two for an actual human being.
I couldn't do the whole housewife and nothing else role. Dave knows it and doesn't want it, because it's not me.
and just so you know, I meant 'bitch' as in I will kick someone's ass if need be, not the slap-around bitch. hehe
Couldn't agree more.The thing I'm talking about is genderless, it's not about woman versus man. It's older than that, deeper. It's about what's in your soul as an individual. I think everyone has certain prime impulses, who knows where they come from - what's a soul made of? - that act like governing regulators of interaction with the world and other souls. The farther I go through life, the more convinced I am that this is true.
But it's also rather heavy conversation for this time in the morning, so I'm off to feed my errant soul some breakfast.
And 'way to be' for focusing enough for all that before breakfast!
It's 6am, so if I don't make sense please forgive me!